Wednesday, December 06, 2006

All Hair Recruits

Inspired by The House Rock Built, I proudly present to you the first annual:

High School All American Bad Hair Team


Offense

So we start of the first annual "High School All American Bad Hair Team" by looking at the quarterback position. What would the QB position be without some controversy on who gets the starting nod? Jimmy Clausen (left), the Golden Child as some refer to him as sports the "Surfer Dude" style while not to be forgotten Stephen Garcia sports the Trucker look. Its tough to say who should be the starter, but being from the Midwest I think Garcia sporting more of the "Blue Collar" look, gets the spot.

Muhammed De'Reese (left) and Noel Devine (right) make up the backfield for this years squad. De'Reese sports the "Confused Fro" look while Devine prefers the Edgerrin James look. Suprisingly there was not a lot of competition for the two spots open in the backfield. Probably the weak point of this year offense.

This year there was one common theme when going after targets to throw to, Dreadlocks. Leonard Hankerson, Alphonso Bryant, and Eric Brooks get the art of "locks" down to a T. Although there isn't a whole lot of veriation in this year class at the WR/TE position, they are the type of haircuts that have withstood the test of time and are always a safe bet.

"Big Uglies" brings on a whole new meaning this year. This is far and away the the worst hair on the offensive side of the ball this year. Tackle Phil Loadholt (left) looks like he got electrocuted, while I am pretty sure Ernest McCoy (second from left) has some kind of nest growing atop his head. Center Garth Gerhart and right tackle Grant Cook try a lot of the same look by going with the "Curly Blonde Thing" and Chaz Ramsey rounds out this years line with a thick set of dreads. With a line upfront that looks like that I feel confident taking on anyone, even Weird Al.

Defense
Occasionally you get a group of players that seem to raise their level of performance because of those, or in this case, one around them. Only one real stand out on the front four this year. Rae Sykes and Jabaal Sheard (left) are average at best at the defensive end position. However on the interior defensive line, Marvin Austin appears to be the star of this years class. Joseph Barksdale finishes off the front with a not so original afro, but Austin's hair really takes the cake. I don't really know how to describe it, besides maybe an explosion on top of his head.

The linebackers on this years team have it all. Jordan Campbell (left) does his best impression of Troy Polamolou with the long hair while the worst dye-job I have ever seen on a football player goes to Austin Panter (center). Austin Stafford then finishes off this years group of backers with none other than the dreadlocks, something we haven't seen yet.

The defensive backs on this years squad love their hair and a lot of it at that. Safety Jordan Bernstine sports the headband with his dreadlocks while Marshall Jones has one of the largest afros in this years class. The corners on this team have more of the same with the dreadlocks. Justin Grant seems to have the thickest dreads in this years class while Al-Majid Hutchins comes in a close second to Austin Panter for worst dye job on the team.

That wraps up this years team. Dreadlocks are the obvious "Weapon of Choice" by this the players on this years team. We'll see what this talent turns into at the next level. I'm also scared to see what Marvin Austin's hair might be like after he spends a year or two at FSU or Miami.